Today marks four months since Maggie passed. The odd thing is that I didn’t even think about it until I was writing a post to another person who is grieving the recent passing of their dog. I take that as a sign that I am moving forward. I still think of Mag everyday, it’s impossible not to when I look at Tani and Obie, but now it seems to be with smiles. While I miss Mag, and always will in some ways, I now have enough distance to enjoy my memories, not mourn them.
Taking on a four year old rescue pug has been a new and mostly enjoyable challenge. Watching Obie learn to trust me, and come out of his shell a little has been very rewarding. And learning more about Tani, first as an only pug, and now as a big sister has been fun too. It is amazing how much she looks like Maggie to me now. I guess that is in comparison to Obie, who looks really different than either of the girls, at least to me. Yes they are both black, and many people when they see them say ‘oh, twins!’, but they are more different from each other than Mag and Tani were.
And this summer I have found myself surrounded by cancer. I lost Mag to cancer on June 2nd. Two weeks later one of my closest friends was diagnosed with brain cancer. A month after that a close family member was diagnosed with lung cancer. That same week I found out another friend was fighting lymphoma. It was surreal to say the least. I was beginning to fear talking to anyone else- I really couldn’t handle anymore bad news.
But once the initial shock wore off I have been able to approach all of this with confidence and optimism. The things we talk about everyday here- how stats are just stats, how you stay positive- those are the things I am saying to my friends and family. I feel sure that the treatments will work, and after some not so fun months everyone will be getting back to their normal lives. Why? Because that is what I learned is the best way to deal with cancer. You stay positive until there is a real reason not to be. We can not know what will happen in the future, we will live each day to the fullest because it is all we can control.
So today, four months after saying good bye, I say thank you to Maggie. Because our 4.5 year cancer battle taught me to ‘be more dog’. Because our last three months together showed me that there can be quality when life is not perfect. Because I am stronger, more optimistic, and more able to cope with adversity than at anytime in my life.
Because I have found a reason for our journey together.